Clarissa Lynn 12/12/12

Our sweet baby girl arrived late Wednesday night on 12/12/12.  At 41 weeks and 6 days I was very ready to meet her! Having had a previous c-section I was waiting it out, praying and begging God for a natural delivery. I had scheduled with the doctor to have a c-section on Friday the 14th if she did not arrive on her own.  My mom came in town the week prior to help get the house ready and give me some company while we waited.  I tried EVERYTHING to induce labor. Needless to say nothing worked, not chiroprators, not pills, not walking...and all the other stuff...I was waiting on the Lord.  God has taught me alot through this little girl's life already...more on that later. 

On Tuesday Mom and I cleaned the cabinets, played with the boys and had a pretty normal day. I had all but given up on having a normal delivery and was just waiting for Friday to show up at the hospital and meet her.  I had been having contractions for a couple weeks but nothing painful and only about 7 minutes apart.  No dilation, no thinning as of my Monday doctor's appointment. 

Well, Tuesday night I started having contractions that were finally pretty uncomfortable.  I didn't think much of it and put the boys to bed then tried to go to bed myself.  It was too uncomfortable so I ended up spending the night up walking, on hands and knees in the living room, laying on the couch beteween contractions.  I still thought I could having contractions like this for days and wasn't thinking I'd be going to the hospital on Wednesday.  The contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and when mom and cliff woke up they both thought I should call the doctor.  I finally did around 9am.  They said I should go to the hospital to get checked.  Long story short, I was in labor, my water had broken without me knowing and we were going to be admitted and have a baby that day! 12/12/12...so funny! I was so hopeful for a natural delivery!  I was dilated to about a 3-4 and everything was going great. 

By 3 that afternoon I was at a 7 and had an epidural.  By 7:30 I was ready to push.  I pushed for about 2 hours and the monitors were doing things the doctor didn't like.  Clarissa wasn't coming down far enough, my uterus was not relaxing between contractions and Clarissa's heart rate was taking longer to stabilize after each contractions. My doctor gave me 30 more minutes and then it was c-section time. I was so crushed, so angry, and yet so ready to meet Clarissa. 

I remember Clarissa's c-section more than I did Camden's. I puked in the operating room, I was so ready to sleep, she didn't cry for a little bit and scared me to death.  Then she cried, she was perfect, beautiful...almost the exact same weight  and length as Camden was!  I got to see her in recovery only about 30 minutes after her birth. She nursed and Cliff and I just marveled.  The recovery has been easier this time, but the emotional and spiritual struggle has been difficult.

The birth of a child should bring one closer to the Lord but I have been so angry that he let me get to so close to the natural delivery that I longed for and it still ended in c-section.  For about a week or more I wallowed in anger and confusion.  Loving my sweet girl, overwhelmed at my life with 3 kids, and feeling distanced from the Lord...my God who had made so much of my life easy. The one I could always count on had not held to his promise to give me the desires of my heart. 

Then, one Sunday morning, my first morning alone with only my baby in my arms, I heard the Lord speak through our pastor. He was doing a Christmas sermon, a monologue of Joseph.  He said something like, "I always thought as a young man that if one was close to the Lord then life would be easy.  Then as I grew older I realize that God is in the struggle."  Basically, life is a big mystery and God's ways are not my ways.  I was being selfish and near sighted in my thinking.  This struggle is bringing me to a new place of maturity in my faith. I am still angry, still disappointed that I will never have the amazing chance to have my freshly born child put on my chest.  But...I do have a precious, priceless daughter, born with no other complications. I was out of the hospital in two days and have had so much help from family and friends! I am blessed. 

So even in my struggle I can say, God is good, He is the Provider even when his provisions seems strange, He is bigger than all of this and so bigger than I can imagine. Who am I to question his ways. 

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Camden and Iven

I finally got a photo to successfully upload to Blogger!! Miracle of miracles. :)  There is no way I'll be able to catch up from all the fun trips and things this summer but I can update the world on what's going on in our family.

We are going from a family of three to a family of five in a matter of four months.  Yes, the cute little guy in the picture above is our new son Iven.  He is one month older than Camden. His birthday is February 23rd and Camden's in March 29th.  Boy are we busy!!!  (I am not allowed to post pictures of his sweet face)

Tomorrow, Iven will have been with us for a whole month.  He is the youngest of five children.  The family came over from Africa about 5 years ago.  Iven was the only child born here.  Very long story short, Iven cannot go where his brothers and sisters are living.  He needed a home and we are the closest to family he's got.  We couldn't bear for him to go live alone with foster parents who would be strangers to him.

We do not know how God will continue to write our stories.  Iven will be with us for at least a few years.  God has asked us to be available to love. It may not be easy and is already full of heartache, but God is faithful. I am asking him to prove his promises to us! He hasn't failed us yet!

Baby girl will be here in a matter of 10 weeks. I am in a bit of shock at how soon she'll be here.  I am so ready to meet her but I am also not ready yet! We have a room to prepare (paint and decorate all girly), Christmas shopping that needs to be done and a host of other to-do's before her arrival.  I have a feeling it will be a bit of "ready or not, here she comes!"

I am feeling great, tired alot, but overall feeling good. She is growing just fine and looks pretty beautiful from the sonogram pics.  The boys love touching my belly and talking about baby sister.  Even Iven is pretty intrigued at the thought of a baby around here.

Camden has done so well transitioning to having Iven here.  He had some trouble sleeping for the first couple weeks but is better now.  The boys have their own rooms right now. He is learning to share.  Poor guy has had a crash course in sibling sharing/competition.  We ask daily for wisdom from God on how to parent in a new way.  Camden has strep throat right now and is pretty miserable.  He had a shot this morning and I am praying that by morning he'll be back to his happy little self. 

I am so thankful for Cliff! He has been so helpful this past month!!  Truly God is providing for us in every way.  I plan on being so very tired for the next year, but I wouldn't trade tired for the sweet hugs of two little boys and the excitement of a sweet girl on the way!

Blog Responsibilities

Hello World! Things have changed so much around this house it is difficult to catch up from last time I blogged.  So I won't even try.  My computer had a near crash and had to be rebooted from last fall so I lost a ton of pictures. Ugh!  Every time I have tried to blog over the last 3 months blogger has been super slow and never would upload my pictures.  So no pictures today just an update on what is going on in our world. 

Camden turned two March 29th! We went to San Antonio a couple weeks before and celebrated with Honey and Dado.  Camden loved going to Sea World and still talks about it whenever he sees a whale or a dolphin. He'll say, Shamu! Sea World!  We celebrated quietly at home on the day of his actual birthday.  We met up with Cliff for a picnic for lunch, fed the ducks, had a nap and then Camden got to play in his new sand box. It was a hit!  The biggest surprise for all of us though was when my Dad showed up at dinner time from Arlington!!!  It was the best surprise of my life for sure!  He thought he just had to see his grandson on his second birthday so he hopped in the car around lunch time and headed the 6 hours to Amarillo.  He left the next day when Camden went down for a nap.  What a special Grumps Camden has!!  Camden played and played with my Dad and enjoyed every second of his short trip.

Mom was here the weekend before Camden's birthday and brought all kinds of goodies.  Camden got a new potty seat, underwear, potty treats from Leigh-Leigh, and potty books.  I was very nervous about the whole potty training issue.  I have heard so many horror stories.  We tried it as an expirament though just to see what he would do.  Before he would have a fit about even sitting on the potty so I wasn't really expecting much.  The skittles did the trick though and he is now officially potty trained!  Boy was I surprised and let me tell you it had nothing to do with my awesome parenting.  LOL!  Nope, this kid likes those potty treats and will go potty at church and sometimes at restaurants.  He was ready. Of course he is still in diapers when he sleeps. Still in the crib and uses the sussy to sleep but all of that will come.  I feel like we've mastered the biggest hurdle for now!!

Cliff is super busy at work already and the summer has not even hit yet.  He is getting to remodel the whole children's area! New paint, carpet, all new furniture, the works!  I can't wait to show pictures when it is done.  Needless to say he has been in and out of his office because of the construction and still trying to complete day to day activities and plan for summer stuff.  This weekend is a preteen retreat followed by a three day staff retreat in Glorieta. Camden and I already miss him!

We will be getting a reprieve soon though. Cliff and I get to go on a cruise! Woohoo! Cozumel and Progresso here we come.  I am so looking forward to five whole days with Cliff alone without cell phones and computers.  Camden is going to stay with my parents and get some good grandparent and cousin time.  I hope he is not too mad at us for leaving. I'm kind of nervous about dropping him off with limited communication but I know he'll survive, in fact he will probably have the most fun he has had in a long time!

That's about it for now.  Maybe I will try a photo post again soon. 

Christmas

Sweet boy on the road heading east to spend Christmas with family in East Texas. Honey came and spent several days with us and got to ride all the way with us in our car.



Christmas morning was at Nana and Grandpa's house in jacksonville. It was all a bit overwhelming for Camden but the banana helped.




Eating cheetos with Grandpa. So fun!

Our annual pj picture!

Kimberly and Josh are engaged!! They will be getting married this summer. I am so excited for them and look forward to getting to know my soon to be brother-in-law in the future.

We spent several days in Arlington on the way back home. These sweet sweet kiddos just steal my heart everytime I get to spend time with them. They are all so much fun!!! I can't believe that they are growing up so fast. Time is flying and I don't know how to stop it!

These three found a comfy spot on the bench watching Aaron and Cliff play pool. These three have a blast together!

First of December

Camden is learning all sorts of new skills. You can see he found the zipper one morning! And he has figured out that he can reach the light switches. He turns lights on and off for us all the time. He's such a helper!!

My family stopped in one night on their way to Colorado for a ski trip. I was so bummed that I couldn't go with them, but it was nice to hang out for a little while!

This little guy is a hoot! Denver enjoyed his dinner! This kids is the messiest eater I have ever seen. It doesn't matter what he's eating...it's all over. :)

This is the best pic of Camden in frotn of the Christmas tree that I could get. We had our own family Christmas about a week before Christmas day. It was nice to have a quiet mornning at home with a big breakfast and present opening.